Confidence is Key, Too Much is a Dealbreaker

6a0120a55a0518970c01b8d10e27f6970c-320wiConfidence is sexy! A dash of self-confidence creates the perfect recipe for a positive first impression, whether it is a first date or networking community event. People who glow with a bright, friendly attitude tend to attract an abundance of people who want to meet them. 

The key to gaining self-confidence is to recognize and appreciate what's great about you and accept what's not so great. We all have strengths and weaknesses. If you love and accept who you are, others will too.

Try these three things to boost your confidence in time for your next date:

1) Don't Compare Yourself to Others
Stop putting yourself up against others as a way of measuring your desirability. Know that you are a hot ticket in your own right, with your own unique abilities and qualities. Something that turns off one person will spark romance in another. Don't waste your time with people who don't see what it is you have to offer.  When you like who you are, people will be naturally drawn to you.

2) Turn to Your Network for Your Net Worth
Surround yourself with people who treat you with love and respect. Weed out the ones who are overly negative or critical. Create a positive environment.

3) Date More! 
The more exposure you have to the dating experience, the easier it gets. As you handle all the different situations and come in contact with different people, it will reinforce your positive qualities. You will also gain confidence in your ability to meet, mingle and engage with new people.

But Avoid Crossing the Fine Line into Cockiness

There's a fine line between "Oh, he's interesting . . ." and "What an arrogant, self-absorbed jerk!"  How does this happen? A few symptoms of crossing into cocky country include one-upping conversation habits, interrupting your date to get your words in and treating others with disrespect.  Identifying when you veer off the confidence course will give you the chance to present yourself as charming and confident, not annoying and arrogant.

This post originally appeared on the Vancouver It's Just Lunch blog

Are you feeling confident and ready to get out there and meet your match? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you find your match! Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.

Dating During College Football Season


Couple watching tvLast night marked the beginning of the college football season at the sport’s highest level. No doubt, there are fans across the nation already stocking up on charcoal and face paint.

If you found you were fighting over the remote last night, it's going to be a long weekend - and I don't mean Labor Day. College football games continue tonight . . . and all day tomorrow . . . and there are more Sunday and Monday.

And if you’re not a college football fan, you might be wishing you weren't dating one by the time Tuesday rolls around.

It’s Just Lunch, a matchmaking service for busy professionals, conducted a survey of over 1,400 people to determine the role sports play in relationships. According to the results, the role can be pretty important – especially if you’re younger.

Glued to the tube

The younger someone is, the more likely they are to spend all day Saturday or Sunday in front of the television watching college football or the NFL. Forty-one percent of 25- to 34-year-olds said they’d be excited to learn that’s how their partner wanted to spend the day. Unfortunately for the sports fans, that number was just 16 percent when 45- to 54-year-olds were asked the same question.

We asked college football fans on Twitter what their significant other does on Saturdays while they’re busy watching college football. From the responses, it sounds like it’s a great day for a little “me” time.

Tweet 1a 

Tweet 2a

Tweet 3a

Is it important you both like sports?

Some in our survey might not be happy simply chalking up college football Saturdays as “me” time. Fifty-nine percent of men and 43 percent of women said they wanted a partner who would watch a game or go to a game every once in a while. Twenty-five percent of the 25- to 34-year-olds said their partner must like sports and be willing to go to and watch games. That insistence seems to fade with age. Just 10 percent of 55- to 64-year-olds felt so strongly about sharing their sports habit with their significant other.

Do sports ruin relationships?

It seems those disagreements over how many games you’re going to watch, or attend, might not be so great for your relationship. Nearly one in every five people who took the survey indicated sports have negatively impacted a relationship in the past. For 18- to 24-year-olds, that number rose to one-in-three. However, it dropped to one-in-ten for 55- to 64-year-olds.

Women identified the primary issue as the amount of time and money spent on sports, while men admitted a bad mood after a “crappy game” caused a fight.

Want to make it through college football season with your relationship intact? Check out our tips for surviving football season together. 


Is it important to you that your potential partner like sports or be open to learning more? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you find your match! Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.

Your Back-To-Dating Checklist

Hot Towel ShaveThere’s something nostalgic about this back-to-school time of year . . . newly sharpened pencils, binders in all your favorite colors, old friends and new friends. Back in the day, your mom probably took you shopping for new clothes, and you stocked up on all of those fresh, new school supplies that armed you with confidence for the new school year.

Just like you had to get your ducks in a row before school started, it’s smart to prepare yourself before you go back out into the dating world after you get divorced or end a long-term relationship. Not only will it set you up for success, but it will calm any nerves and make you feel more confident when you go out on that first date. Just like sixth grade when you had those brand new Chuck Taylors.

Think you’re ready to get back out there? Here’s our back-to-dating checklist:

Get a haircut

You don’t need a major change to your ‘do, a trim is enough. Men, most women prefer you to be well groomed. It shows you care about your appearance, which will make her feel like you care about the date. That doesn’t mean you have to ditch the facial hair, just keep it trimmed and neat. Or if you really want to treat yourself, head to the barbershop for a nice hot towel shave.

Ladies, even a quarter of an inch off the ends will make your hair feel lighter and healthier. Who doesn’t feel more confident when they walk out of the salon? If you want an even bigger boost, go for a blowout before your first date. Indulge – you deserve it!

Wear some new duds

The women out there probably don’t need an excuse to go shopping for a new outfit, but men are sometimes a tougher sell. We know many of you hate shopping, but consider grabbing a new shirt for your first time back out on the dating scene.

It’s tough to go wrong with a nice button down that fits you correctly (i.e., fitted without buttons bursting across your chest or your stomach and the sleeves are the right length for your arms), and you can keep it untucked with jeans if you’re going somewhere more casual.

Purge photos and mementos of the ex

Go ahead and throw out or put away photos and mementos of your ex – not because you expect this first date to come back home with you, but because it’s time to put yourself in the right mindset for meeting someone new. Imagine coming home from a great date and spotting the piece of art you and your ex picked up in Asheville last year. That’ll kill your good mood fast and make you less receptive to new possibilities.

Stop being angry

While we’re talking about exes, if you’re ready to date again, you’re ready to let go of any anger you feel for your ex.

Have you ever been on a date with someone who couldn’t stop talking about their ex and how they were so inconsiderate or did so many things that drove them crazy? If you haven’t, you will. It’s not pretty, so don’t be that guy or gal.

Get excited for your new adventure

You’re likely to go through a whole range of emotions as you re-enter the dating scene: nervous, anxious, hopeful and even angry. Embrace the excitement of starting a new chapter in your life. Take some time to think about what makes you happy, and then open yourself up to finding someone who enjoys those same things. Imagine what it will feel like when you find that person, and let that fuel your forward. 

Are you ready to get back out there and meet someone new? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you. Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.

The One Word Preventing Your Dating Success

9UVAGMWV89One simple three-letter word could be creating a speed bump on your road to dating success. 

But . . . 

"I'm excited about my first date, but . . . "
"I'm ready to start meeting new people, but . . ."

That one word means your mind has shifted gears and the excitement for the first date is now being funneled into reasons not to take a risk or put much value on the event. It is anxiety about what may happen, and your mind has started broadcasting the "All Negative Scenario" station at high-frequency.

In short, you are now putting the brakes on what could be before you even get to the restaurant. You are sabataging your chances of a great first date -- of a great relationship.

According to an article on Psychology, "[t]he word but allows you to take fewer risks, delay making vital changes, avoid intimacy, resist suggestions, rationalize the status quo, numb your brain with chemicals or mindless entertainment, and decrease your capacity to see opportunities and different points of view."

So, before you can move forward with new experiences and meeting new people, you have to tackle what it is you fear. Failure? Embarrassment? That the other person won't like you? That your ex-boyfriend is right and that you are just too difficult to live with? Jot it all down. Even if it is unrealistic. By getting it out of your head and onto the paper, you take away a small amount of its mental hold on you.

Next, after you have acknowledged your fears, turn it around and inject a positive thought. Do this by stating the fear but infusing a dose of hope. For example, you may be afraid that the guy you are set to have lunch with won't dig you. Say to yourself, "I am a bit nervous about the upcoming date, but I'm going to put my best foot forward and have a good time."

Then, ask yourself:

* What can I control at this moment?
* What if no buts existed? 
* Am I really willing to get stuck at this hurdle in dating?
* What do I really have to fear?

Being mindful of what you can control (hint: emotions, thoughts and actions in this moment) is the first step toward your goals. Choose how to direct your thoughts, especially when you are embracing a new experience or meeting someone for the first time. Let go of the buts and you will notice how much you open up to the possibilities.

Happy Dating . . . no buts. 

This post originally appeared on It's Just Lunch Vancouver's blog

It's Just Lunch is Consumer Affairs' Highest-Rated Dating Service

CA_Accredited_ShieldWe generally don’t like to toot our own horn here at It’s Just Lunch, but we are thrilled to announce we are now the highest-rated dating service according to Consumer Affairs. It’s Just Lunch takes this ranking very seriously, because it is based entirely on reviews from real clients.

We wanted to take this opportunity to recognize our amazing matchmakers who are out there on the frontlines making the magic happen. Our clients trust us with one of their most important assets – their hearts – and our matchmakers work tirelessly to make the connections that can change our client’s lives.

You don’t have to take our word for it though, check out these reviews by our clients on Consumer Affairs: 

Review 1

Review 2

Review 3
Review 4
Are you ready to meet someone new? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you. Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.