Dating Communication: Call, Text, Email or Social Media?

466698613With so many methods of communication these days, it can be tough to know how you should contact someone once you’re interested in them. It can be easier to text, email, tweet, or write on their Facebook wall, but are there times when you really should pick up the phone and call? 

In a survey conducted by It’s Just Lunch of over 26,000 singles on how technology impacts relationships, 65 percent of respondents said they were more likely to text than call after swapping phone numbers with someone to whom they’re attracted. Nearly half of them indicated they interacted with their love interest on social media either daily or weekly. 

Let’s face it: typing is easier than talking for most people, especially when nerves and feelings are involved. Just because it’s the easy thing to do though doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do

Here are four instances to watch out for when it comes to your means of communication:

Plan dates over the phone 

There’s a time and a place for texts, emails and social media, but it’s not when planning dates early in your relationship. 

“Ultimately, relationships are built on communication,” said Julie Lopez, head of matchmaking at It’s Just Lunch. “The best way to develop a healthy line of communication is to start from day one.” 

Want to shoot the other person a quick message to tell them you had a great time on your date? Feel free to pull out your phone and fire off a short text or email. 

Never drink and text 

This one isn’t just a no-no for texting and other forms of messaging, it applies to phone calls as well. Rarely will anything good come from a drunk message. It’s entirely likely you’ll come off as immature if it’s obvious you’re drinking. It’s not outside the realm of possibility you might sound like a jerk. Plus, if you send one drunk message, you’ll probably send ten. Now you’re annoying. 

Not to mention liquid courage tends to make people say things they might not otherwise be ready to say, which leads us to our next inappropriate situation for typing . . . . 

Feelings should be verbalized 

When you need to express a feeling for the first time - whether that’s affection, love, disappointment or anger - it shouldn’t be through a device. It all goes back to developing communication as the bedrock of your relationship. If you can’t express your feelings to their face now, you may continue struggling to express those feelings throughout your relationship. 

Of course, if you’re already saying “I love you” in person, feel free to text, tweet, email or shout it from the rooftops. Just don’t let that first time the other person knows your true feelings be on a telephone screen. 

No fighting and typing 

Don’t be a coward. If you’re upset, speak with the other person (preferably in person). Without tone or body language, it’s easy for both sides to misinterpret the issue. 

Ultimately, the biggest danger in using technology to communicate for any of these reasons is the potential for misinterpretation and misunderstanding. One of the top reasons - if not the top reason - relationships fail is because of a lack of communication. Interacting via text, email and social media is fine for a quick, light-hearted message but should never be your primary means of communicating. 

Are you still looking for your match? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you. Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.


Can Remote Working Affect Your Relationship Status?

470761319Did you know the average telecommuter is a 49-year-old college graduate who works for a company of 100 or more? Remote working is no longer reserved for part-timers or working mothers, it's one of the fastest growing benefits for workers.

What impact might this trend be having on romantic relationships? That's what we'd like to know!

Whether you've spent part of your career as a telecommuter or not, please take a few minutes to complete the following survey. We'll share the results once the survey is complete.

You can take the survey below or click here to take a mobile-friendly version. 

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Work Keeping You out of the Dating Game? Check Again.

479146411It's been a trending phrase for months, if not years: work-life balance. It's about finding that elusive sweet spot where your personal and professional life balance, not taking too much out of the other.

However, the idea of "when you're at work, you're at work" is slightly outdated. The truth of it is, our lives have become a beautifully blended mash-up of our hobbies, activities, relationships and goals. We've allowed segments of our lives to bleed into other areas.

If you’re like most professional singles, you may have forgotten what it means to have personal time because you’ve dedicated any free time you do get to growing your career or business. The lines may have even started blurring if your social life revolves around work like it does for so many professionals who spend most of their waking days with clients, colleagues and associates.

Have you ever placed you phone on the table during a date? Just in case something important comes in from the front lines at the office? We are a distracted society that has yet to find a balance between our life demands.

What it comes down to is what is important to you and how much control over the situation YOU THINK you have. You have the power to turn your phone off or at least on vibrate. Most emails can wait the few hours you are spending on a date. It is up to you to set the boundaries within your life. What matters to you?

Just like you need to put time in at the gym to stay in shape, you have to put in the time to dating if you have any shot at meeting worthy of your time and affections. Analyze how you’re really spending your time (binge watching Netflix originals? Surfing the net?) and make the changes needed so you can get more focused on your relationship goals.

In summary, finding balance between love and career is all about segmenting your time, and taking the right actions during time dedicated to improving your personal and professional life. Everyone has their own schedule, but everyone has more free time at their disposal than they realize.

This post originally appeared on It's Just Lunch Vancouver's blog


Valentine's Day: Advice on Gifts and Date Planning

454931603Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you probably downplay Valentine’s Day when asked how you feel about the holiday – at least publicly. No one wants to be that person who embraces a holiday created by the greeting card and candy companies.

As it turns out, Valentine’s Day brings out the hypocrite in us all. In a survey by It’s Just Lunch, the premiere dating service for busy professionals, nearly one-third of both men and women surveyed said they feel “indifferent” about Valentine’s Day, with another 13 percent saying it makes them “miserable” or “dreadful.” Yet, over 70 percent of those same men and women expect to spend Valentine’s Day with someone if they’ve been on four or more dates.

So, let’s face it – you’re probably going to need to acknowledge Valentine’s Day if you’ve been on more than a few dates with someone. Are you feeling that misery and dread now as you worry about making plans and buying a gift? Don’t worry. It’s Just Lunch has you covered with the results of the rest of their survey:

The date

Men and women both overwhelming agreed on their top date choices: dinner at a restaurant with some significance in your relationship or a weekend getaway.

Haven’t been together long enough for those options? The men leaned toward wanting to go to a fancy dinner while the women were more likely to want to have something cooked for them at home.

It’s Just Lunch spokesperson Irene LaCota says split the difference, “Go out for a fancy dinner and then come home to make dessert together where you can kick off your shoes, relax and enjoy each other’s company.”

The gift

People may be indifferent, but they still want a gift. Only 17 percent of men and 6 percent of women said they wanted nothing for Valentine’s Day. Of course, the gift should be commensurate with your relationship length. If you’ve been dating less than a month, 59 percent of men and 49 percent of women say they don’t expect a gift. However, if you’ve been dating one to three months, those percentages dropped by approximately half.

“Play it safe if it’s your first Valentine’s Day together,” advised LaCota. “If you’ve been on at least a few dates together, make plans together sometime over Valentine’s weekend and invest in at least a card and a small gift.”

For the ladies, flowers are always a popular choice. The folks at It’s Just Lunch wondered, however, if the iconic red roses were seen as generic and devoid of thought and attention. As it turns out, the ladies love them! Fifty-seven percent of women said they love red roses, with only 16 percent thinking they were generic.

And where should you send these flowers? You might think she wants the attention and jealous glares of the other ladies in the office when her bouquet arrives, but 57 percent of women want their flowers delivered in person by you. Only 20 percent want their flowers delivered to the office.

Jewelry and plans for a future activity you can do together followed on the women’s wish list.

For the men, a card and a weekend getaway topped their gift wish list . . . right behind one other thing that might not surprise you: sex. Fifty percent of the men chose sex as one of the top three things they were hoping for this Valentine’s Day, while just 22 percent of the women said the same.

If your relationship isn’t at the weekend getaway or romping between the sheets stage, buy him a bottle of something you’ve seen him order, like a bottle of red wine or a small bottle of whiskey. Don’t know him well enough yet to pick out something personal? Consider a virtual gift, such as an iTunes gift card. A third of men said they’d be happy to receive a virtual gift because it would be something they could actually use.

Source:   It’s Just Lunch 2015 survey of approximately 1,000 singles