Here's the deal, ladies—when on the dating scene, we can be our own worst enemy. We complicate relationships and sabotage them before they even get off the ground! Read on to learn the mistakes women frequently encounter on their quest to meet The One.
Moving Too Quickly. After a promising first date, it's natural to feel excited about the possibilities. But don't start flipping through bridal magazines just yet. In fact, your enthusiasm for your burgeoning relationship could inadvertently scare him off! Early on it's best to show restraint and keep your feelings in check. Women often get frustrated at this stage—we're falling in love and want to express it! But although you're getting to know him, there's still a lot you don't know. Look at it this way—if you unleash too much emotion too soon, he'll wonder, "Does she really like me? Or is she just glad to have a guy—any guy—around? And frankly, that's a reasonable question on his part. Dating Tip: Think of your new relationship as a movie. Sit back and watch it play out—let things evolve naturally. Don't project! When we project what we hope will happen, we can't see what actually is happening.
Overanalyzing. Women love nothing more than some good girl talk! And what do we typically talk about? Guys, of course! We dish, dissect, and analyze our relationships ad nauseum. Most of it's harmless, of course. But we can get into trouble when nit-picking situations and making something out of nothing. Furthermore, for some reason, we tend to ask our girlfriends to help us figure out our boyfriends. Does that really make sense? Dating Tip: Cut out the middle-man (or in this case, middle-woman) when trying to discern what your new guy is thinking. Instead of asking your girlfriends to decipher his last text, see what your brother, cousin, or dad has to say. Let the men in your life provide insight into the male psyche.
Being Too Available. Men like a challenge. Don't deny them the fun of pursuing you! We all value things we have to work for, so it behooves women not to appear overly available early in the relationship. Yes, you want to be authentic. No, you don't want to play games. But smart women live busy, full, fantastic lives. So honestly, we can't be very available to a guy we've just met! Dating Tip: Live your life to the fullest! Consume yourself with your passions, goals, and dreams. Carving out space in your schedule for your new guy will communicate two things—1) you've got a super busy fabulous life and 2) you like him enough to make time for him!
Listen, ladies! You have so much to offer! Put your best foot forward and give your new relationship a strong chance of success by following the tips listed above. Let the connection develop slowly, don't over-think it, and no matter how much you're into him, stay fully "into" your own life!
Confidence is sexy! A dash of self-confidence creates the perfect recipe for a positive first impression, whether it is a first date or networking community event. People who glow with a bright, friendly attitude tend to attract an abundance of people who want to meet them.
The key to gaining self-confidence is to recognize and appreciate what's great about you and accept what's not so great. We all have strengths and weaknesses. If you love and accept who you are, others will too.
Try these three things to boost your confidence in time for your next date:
1) Don't Compare Yourself to Others Stop putting yourself up against others as a way of measuring your desirability. Know that you are a hot ticket in your own right, with your own unique abilities and qualities. Something that turns off one person will spark romance in another. Don't waste your time with people who don't see what it is you have to offer. When you like who you are, people will be naturally drawn to you.
2) Turn to Your Network for Your Net Worth Surround yourself with people who treat you with love and respect. Weed out the ones who are overly negative or critical. Create a positive environment.
3) Date More! The more exposure you have to the dating experience, the easier it gets. As you handle all the different situations and come in contact with different people, it will reinforce your positive qualities. You will also gain confidence in your ability to meet, mingle and engage with new people.
But Avoid Crossing the Fine Line into Cockiness
There's a fine line between "Oh, he's interesting . . ." and "What an arrogant, self-absorbed jerk!" How does this happen? A few symptoms of crossing into cocky country include one-upping conversation habits, interrupting your date to get your words in and treating others with disrespect. Identifying when you veer off the confidence course will give you the chance to present yourself as charming and confident, not annoying and arrogant.
Are you feeling confident and ready to get out there and meet your match? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you find your match! Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.
Last night marked the beginning of the college football season at the sport’s highest level. No doubt, there are fans across the nation already stocking up on charcoal and face paint.
If you found you were fighting over the remote last night, it's going to be a long weekend - and I don't mean Labor Day. College football games continue tonight . . . and all day tomorrow . . . and there are more Sunday and Monday.
And if you’re not a college football fan, you might be wishing you weren't dating one by the time Tuesday rolls around.
It’s Just Lunch, a matchmaking service for busy professionals, conducted a survey of over 1,400 people to determine the role sports play in relationships. According to the results, the role can be pretty important – especially if you’re younger.
Glued to the tube
The younger someone is, the more likely they are to spend all day Saturday or Sunday in front of the television watching college football or the NFL. Forty-one percent of 25- to 34-year-olds said they’d be excited to learn that’s how their partner wanted to spend the day. Unfortunately for the sports fans, that number was just 16 percent when 45- to 54-year-olds were asked the same question.
We asked college football fans on Twitter what their significant other does on Saturdays while they’re busy watching college football. From the responses, it sounds like it’s a great day for a little “me” time.
Is it important you both like sports?
Some in our survey might not be happy simply chalking up college football Saturdays as “me” time. Fifty-nine percent of men and 43 percent of women said they wanted a partner who would watch a game or go to a game every once in a while. Twenty-five percent of the 25- to 34-year-olds said their partner must like sports and be willing to go to and watch games. That insistence seems to fade with age. Just 10 percent of 55- to 64-year-olds felt so strongly about sharing their sports habit with their significant other.
Do sports ruin relationships?
It seems those disagreements over how many games you’re going to watch, or attend, might not be so great for your relationship. Nearly one in every five people who took the survey indicated sports have negatively impacted a relationship in the past. For 18- to 24-year-olds, that number rose to one-in-three. However, it dropped to one-in-ten for 55- to 64-year-olds.
Women identified the primary issue as the amount of time and money spent on sports, while men admitted a bad mood after a “crappy game” caused a fight.
Is it important to you that your potential partner like sports or be open to learning more? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you find your match! Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.
There’s something nostalgic about this back-to-school time of year . . . newly sharpened pencils, binders in all your favorite colors, old friends and new friends. Back in the day, your mom probably took you shopping for new clothes, and you stocked up on all of those fresh, new school supplies that armed you with confidence for the new school year.
Just like you had to get your ducks in a row before school started, it’s smart to prepare yourself before you go back out into the dating world after you get divorced or end a long-term relationship. Not only will it set you up for success, but it will calm any nerves and make you feel more confident when you go out on that first date. Just like sixth grade when you had those brand new Chuck Taylors.
Think you’re ready to get back out there? Here’s our back-to-dating checklist:
Get a haircut
You don’t need a major change to your ‘do, a trim is enough. Men, most women prefer you to be well groomed. It shows you care about your appearance, which will make her feel like you care about the date. That doesn’t mean you have to ditch the facial hair, just keep it trimmed and neat. Or if you really want to treat yourself, head to the barbershop for a nice hot towel shave.
Ladies, even a quarter of an inch off the ends will make your hair feel lighter and healthier. Who doesn’t feel more confident when they walk out of the salon? If you want an even bigger boost, go for a blowout before your first date. Indulge – you deserve it!
Wear some new duds
The women out there probably don’t need an excuse to go shopping for a new outfit, but men are sometimes a tougher sell. We know many of you hate shopping, but consider grabbing a new shirt for your first time back out on the dating scene.
It’s tough to go wrong with a nice button down that fits you correctly (i.e., fitted without buttons bursting across your chest or your stomach and the sleeves are the right length for your arms), and you can keep it untucked with jeans if you’re going somewhere more casual.
Purge photos and mementos of the ex
Go ahead and throw out or put away photos and mementos of your ex – not because you expect this first date to come back home with you, but because it’s time to put yourself in the right mindset for meeting someone new. Imagine coming home from a great date and spotting the piece of art you and your ex picked up in Asheville last year. That’ll kill your good mood fast and make you less receptive to new possibilities.
Stop being angry
While we’re talking about exes, if you’re ready to date again, you’re ready to let go of any anger you feel for your ex.
Have you ever been on a date with someone who couldn’t stop talking about their ex and how they were so inconsiderate or did so many things that drove them crazy? If you haven’t, you will. It’s not pretty, so don’t be that guy or gal.
Get excited for your new adventure
You’re likely to go through a whole range of emotions as you re-enter the dating scene: nervous, anxious, hopeful and even angry. Embrace the excitement of starting a new chapter in your life. Take some time to think about what makes you happy, and then open yourself up to finding someone who enjoys those same things. Imagine what it will feel like when you find that person, and let that fuel your forward.
Are you ready to get back out there and meet someone new? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you. Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.